16 years later:
There was a hint of suppression in her eyes, as if she was trying to hide something whilst she was looking at me. They say that eyes can't lie, and I'm a firm believer in that. It had been a long while that our relationship hadn't seen much of an improvement. She blamed me and I blamed her and nothing ever got done. We weren't trying to help each other, we were merely surviving a hell that we had brought upon ourselves. A sudden urge grew inside me, the dark monster that had resided inside of me for the last 25 years since that dark night. Nothing ever turned back to the way it was, and neither did I become who I once were. It was all lost, gone and long forgotten. I looked her in the eyes, trying to repel her from me just to be free of her nagging for a little while but I was honestly tired of how our lives stopped progressing.
"That's all I needed to hear from you", I said as I slowly turned my face away from her to imply a time constraint, make her know that I won't be standing here in the moment forever. She looked at me and stepped right in front of me. Her lightly featured face with those big, dark of eyes delving straight into my soul for I believed that eyes are what a window is to a house. Her gaze didn't last long but a tangling sense in my stomach was talking to me. "She knows", I thought to myself. Many times I had thought that maybe it was me who was the problem, maybe it was me who was destroying everything, maybe it is no one else's fault; but my ego always got the better of me and stopped my repentance. After a while, lying to yourself becomes so natural that you start believing in those lies. So had my life been, filled with imaginary scenarios and people, merely a shadow of what actually existed. I had forged myself a new character, a character so deep that even I couldn't recognize my inner self when I looked at the glass. All I ever saw were things moving to and fro, to left and to the right but never the reflection of myself or what I had become. I was a monster that I had created and so, the thing that I feared the most.
She turned away and started walking slowly as if she was waiting for someone to stop her and tell her how much they mean to them whilst taking them in their supporting arms. I lit my cigarette, took a puff as I put my shades down and started walking away. Since that day, I haven't seen her.
There was a hint of suppression in her eyes, as if she was trying to hide something whilst she was looking at me. They say that eyes can't lie, and I'm a firm believer in that. It had been a long while that our relationship hadn't seen much of an improvement. She blamed me and I blamed her and nothing ever got done. We weren't trying to help each other, we were merely surviving a hell that we had brought upon ourselves. A sudden urge grew inside me, the dark monster that had resided inside of me for the last 25 years since that dark night. Nothing ever turned back to the way it was, and neither did I become who I once were. It was all lost, gone and long forgotten. I looked her in the eyes, trying to repel her from me just to be free of her nagging for a little while but I was honestly tired of how our lives stopped progressing.
"That's all I needed to hear from you", I said as I slowly turned my face away from her to imply a time constraint, make her know that I won't be standing here in the moment forever. She looked at me and stepped right in front of me. Her lightly featured face with those big, dark of eyes delving straight into my soul for I believed that eyes are what a window is to a house. Her gaze didn't last long but a tangling sense in my stomach was talking to me. "She knows", I thought to myself. Many times I had thought that maybe it was me who was the problem, maybe it was me who was destroying everything, maybe it is no one else's fault; but my ego always got the better of me and stopped my repentance. After a while, lying to yourself becomes so natural that you start believing in those lies. So had my life been, filled with imaginary scenarios and people, merely a shadow of what actually existed. I had forged myself a new character, a character so deep that even I couldn't recognize my inner self when I looked at the glass. All I ever saw were things moving to and fro, to left and to the right but never the reflection of myself or what I had become. I was a monster that I had created and so, the thing that I feared the most.
She turned away and started walking slowly as if she was waiting for someone to stop her and tell her how much they mean to them whilst taking them in their supporting arms. I lit my cigarette, took a puff as I put my shades down and started walking away. Since that day, I haven't seen her.
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